When your dream project stops being fun

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Unravelled This Week

The gap between starting and succeeding is where most dreams fade. This week, we unpack why that middle phase feels so tough and how to navigate it when motivation disappears.

Unfiltered

A few months ago, I started running. I was filled with excitement as I laced up my brand new trainers, put on my new earphones, and downloaded the Couch to 5K app. Those first few runs felt magical—the crisp morning air, the sense of accomplishment, the growing belief that I was finally becoming one of those people who just love running.

Then reality hit.

The app ramped up, the weather turned, the runs became longer and harder, and suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t keep up. The excitement that had me leaping out of bed at 6AM was replaced by a sense of dread.

But I’ve been here before.

When I joined a tech startup in 2022, I was energised by the fast-paced environment and the endless possibilities. But a few months in, I felt completely out of my depth. The learning curve wasn’t just steep, it felt like scaling a cliff without equipment. And this happens every time I start something new. Whether it’s building a business, launching a YouTube channel, or even becoming a mum, the pattern is the same.

In my latest video, I explore what to do when motivation fades. But I’ve realised this experience isn’t just about motivation. This is the Valley of Despair—the moment when the initial high wears off, and what’s left is resistance, self-doubt, and the overwhelming temptation to quit.

Reflect

The idea of changing your life is intoxicating. We set goals, create vision boards, and craft detailed schedules, all while riding that initial wave of excitement. But the reality often looks very different. It’s less glamorous, more challenging, and sometimes downright messy. And in those moments, we can’t help but wonder: Did I get this all wrong? Was I naïve to think I could do this?

The Valley of Despair isn’t just another name for feeling unmotivated—it’s the specific point where the honeymoon phase ends and the real work begins. It’s when your expectations collide with reality, and the gap between where you are and where you want to be feels impossibly wide.

Looking back at my startup role, I can see it clearly now. Month one? Pure excitement and possibilities. Month four? I was in the Valley, questioning every life choice that had led me there, drowning in imposter syndrome.

Why does this happen? I’ve realised it’s because:

• We fall in love with the highlight reel. It’s easy to admire the end result without seeing the struggles behind it.

• Our brains crave novelty. New things naturally feel exciting, but that excitement fades when the real work begins.

• We fall victim to the Planning Fallacy. We assume things will be quicker and easier than they actually are, only to be caught off guard when reality demands more effort.

• Mastery always looks easier from the outside. I used to think YouTube looked effortless—until I tried it myself and realised how much skill and persistence it actually takes.

Realign

Through startup life, YouTube, and so many other experiences, I’ve learnt something crucial: the Valley isn’t a sign that you’re on the wrong path, it’s actually a sign that you’re doing something meaningful.

Think about it. When was the last time you hit this kind of resistance doing something easy or comfortable? The Valley shows up precisely because you’re pushing beyond your comfort zone.

For me, this realisation changed everything. Instead of seeing the Valley as a warning sign, I started seeing it as a checkpoint. Like in a video game—if you’re meeting enemies, you’re probably going the right way.

So instead of fearing the Valley, I started embracing it.

Rebuild

Here’s how I keep going when I’m deep in the Valley and what might help you too:

• Keep a progress journal – Track what you did, what you learned, and one small win every day. Document research, ideas, and insights. When external validation is lacking, momentum comes from seeing how far you've already come.

• Define your minimum viable day – What’s the smallest, easiest action that keeps you moving forward? Maybe it’s adding a new song on your running playlist, three outreach calls, or writing one paragraph. Make it so effortless you can’t say no.

• Build a support system for the valleys – Surround yourself with others at the same stage. Share wins and struggles. The hardest part isn’t the work—it’s feeling alone in it. The valley feels less daunting when you’re walking it with others.

The most powerful transformations don’t happen in the easy, exciting beginnings. They happen in the messy middle—where you build resilience, adapt, and prove to yourself that you can keep going.

Whatever you’re struggling with right now, don’t mistake discomfort for failure. You’re not stuck. You’re not lost. You’re just in the Valley. And the only way out is through.

Until next time,