What ‘fake it till you make it’ gets wrong

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Unravelled This Week

We’ve all heard the advice: “fake it until you make it”. It’s what we’re told when we’re nervous about a presentation, unsure in a new job, or stepping outside our comfort zone. Act confident. Pretend you know what you’re doing. Don’t let them see you sweat.

But what if pretending to have it all together is actually holding us back from our most powerful asset—our real story.

My Personal Journey

Recently, I shared that I was launching a startup in dentistry. I’ve previously spoken on my YouTube channel about leaving dentistry, and someone suggested I delete those videos as I embarked on this new venture. On paper, it makes sense: a successful dentist seamlessly transitioning into entrepreneurship looks much cleaner and more impressive than someone who left the profession, worked in the creator economy, only to return to it in a different capacity. After all, who wants to deal with messy questions and uncomfortable truths?

But I’ve already spent years trying to maintain a perfect image. As a dentist, I smiled through my doubts and projected confidence because that’s what you’re expected to do. On the outside, I seemed to have it all figured out; but on the inside, I felt lost. When I started on Youtube, more established creators advised me to avoid mentioning my dissatisfaction with dentistry and instead craft a more polished, credible persona. Yet, the videos where I opened up—about loneliness, doubts, and struggles—are the ones that resonated most.

So when I received that recent advice to hide my past videos, I naturally did the opposite: I made a video explaining exactly why I left dentistry. Owning my story, while sometimes daunting, has only ever led to positive outcomes. It sparked the honest conversations that inspired my startup in the first place and allowed me to see the possibilities both within and beyond dentistry.

That's the real problem with "fake it till you make it." When you're busy pretending to be someone else's version of success, you miss the chance to build something that matters. Your struggles, your questions, your desire for change—these aren't weaknesses to hide. They're the very things that show you what’s missing in your life. They're the compass pointing you toward your most meaningful work.

Reflect

“Fake it until you make it” often feels like the solution to impostor syndrome. But while it might offer short-term confidence, it can create a long term disconnect from yourself and from others. Here’s why owning your story is a better path forward:

1. Trust and connection

   Sharing your truth creates space for others to see you and trust you. Maybe it's opening up to friends about struggling with loneliness in a new city instead of posting highlight reels on Instagram. Or admitting to your running group that you're not training for a marathon because you love running, but because you're trying to fill a void. These moments of honesty can lead to the deepest connections and the most meaningful conversations that start with “me too”.

2. Authentic growth

   Your feelings aren’t obstacles, they’re signposts. Ignore them and you'll stay lost, follow them and you’ll find clarity. It was only when I acknowledged my feelings with traditional dentistry that I was able to build the foundations for something else.

3. Lasting confidence

   Real confidence isn't about having the perfect Instagram feed or always being "busy" with work and gym. It comes from being able to say "I spent Saturday watching Netflix because I needed rest" or "I'm taking a break from dating because I'm working on myself." It's about owning your reality rather than performing it.

4. Space for imperfection

   Letting go of a perfect image gives you room to experiment, make mistakes, and find what truly works for you. That’s how real stories are made.

   

Realign

Many of us fall into patterns of hiding parts of ourselves or curating a more polished image. Use these four practices to help you begin showing up more fully:

1. Map your truth: Take time to reflect on the experiences that have shaped your path—especially the ones you've been tempted to hide. Maybe it's the relationship that ended badly, the friend group that drifted apart, or the passion project you abandoned. What lessons lie within these stories?

2. Craft your real story: Connect your personal journey, including the messy parts, to the larger change you want to create. Whether it's your founder story, what you share on social media, or just introducing yourself to new people, resist the urge to edit any parts out. How does your authenticity serve your purpose?

3. Begin sharing in safe spaces: Instead of always saying "I'm fine" when friends ask how you are, try saying "Actually, I've been feeling a bit lost lately." Notice how it feels to let people see the real you, not just your achievements or social calendar.

4. Keep perspective: Remember that the person with the perfectly curated Instagram feed probably has their own struggles. While you're looking at someone's seemingly perfect relationship, they might be comparing their career to yours. We're all figuring it out, one day at a time.

Rebuild

The world doesn't need another polished facade. It needs your authentic voice, your real experiences, and the unique perspective that only you can create.

So this week, I challenge you to:

• Notice where you're putting pressure on yourself to appear perfect

• Write down what it would feel like to let that go

• Share one "I'm still figuring this out" moment with someone else

Remember, you don't have to have it all figured out. None of us do. The magic happens when we stop pretending..

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. When has embracing your story helped you connect more deeply with your purpose or your community?

Until next week,