The true mirror

True mirrors, boredom, leaving work unfinished and silencing the storyteller

Hey friends,

Over the weekend, my husband and I were brushing our teeth and looking at each other through the mirror, trying to talk through mouths full of toothpaste. I said to my husband, “I wonder what I look like when you see me”. This started off a conversation about true mirrors.

A true mirror is when two mirrors are placed at right angles, allowing you to look at yourself as you really are. It’s your true image rather than your mirror image which is flipped. It allows you to see yourself as other people see you.

It’s meant to be a really unsettling experience. I’ve not tried it myself, and I'm not sure I ever will, but people have referred to true mirrors as meeting yourself for the first time.

“We look in a regular mirror, not for clues to who we are, but to reassure ourselves that we’re tidy, or beautiful or young. In a True Mirror, you look for revelation, not reassurance. You don’t look at yourself, you look for yourself" - Caroline McHugh

It’s strange to think that when we look at ourselves in a mirror, we’re seeing an altered version of ourselves. All of the insecurities that we scrutinise when we look in the mirror might not be real.

The concept of true mirrors is a reminder that we never see ourselves the way others see us. Yet, so often we worry about what other people think. We carefully pick out our outfits to make sure we look good in the eyes of others. We overthink what to say during meetings. We post only the most flattering photos of ourselves on social media.

Instead of trapping yourself in a mirror, set yourself free by realising that how you see yourself will never match how others see you. Your worries about what other people think are futile, and by letting them go, you can find yourself without the need of a true mirror.

đź‘Ł On finding a better pace

I saw this on Twitter last week.

It surprised me for 2 reasons:

  1. that not working automatically makes people think of boredom

  2. that boredom is seen as that bad

I’m sure many people enjoy their jobs and would continue working even if they didn't need to. But why do we feel like we always have to be doing something? Why are we so afraid of boredom?

Some of the greatest minds actually embraced boredom.

“I’m a big believer in boredom. Boredom allows one to indulge in curiosity, and out of curiosity comes everything.” - Steve Jobs

Boredom has been shown to help creativity, focus and a sense of fulfilment.

When we run away from moments of stillness, trying to fill them with productivity and busyness, we lose out on the magic of daydreams, mindfulness and little breaks for our brain to connect all of the dots.

Don’t be afraid of doing nothing, because in doing nothing you might end up finding something.

🎨 A creator’s thoughts

I just finished the Ship 30 for 30 course over the weekend.

We were meant to write 30 essays over 30 days to build a daily writing habit. I was so sure I would do it, but I missed a few days. By the end of the course, I did 25 essays instead of 30.

I initially planned to finish the last 5 essays after the course ended but then I realised I was doing it just so that I could say I did it. I wanted to feel like I had achieved something, it wasn't about those extra 5 essays actually helping me. After all, the point of the exercise was to build a daily writing habit, but I had been writing every day even on the days that I didn’t write an essay but in other forms like YouTube scripts.

Sometimes we get so caught up in arbitrary goals. We want to tick off every box and tie every bow. Yes it’s good to have discipline, but that discipline has to serve more than just our ego and our need for perfectionism.

🔎 Good finds

I think storytelling is beautiful. I love how life is made up of so many stories. But I never considered how stories could be affecting our ability to practise mindfulness.

We’re walking storytellers with an audience of one.

It sounds absurd, but as we go about our day, we’re constantly creating stories. About everything.

Think about it… when was the last time you looked at anything and had nothing to say about it?

AM Costanzo shares how we can quieten the storyteller inside of us long enough to find the real stories worth sharing.

đź’­ Made you think

“It's better to be lost than in a place you don’t want to be” - Ron Lim

And that’s it! I hope you’re all having an amazing week and thank you so much for sticking around.

Love,

Akta

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