Hey you,

I'm visiting my family home in London this weekend.

I always get this overwhelming sense of home when I arrive. But as I walk into my bedroom, I'm reminded of the ways I've changed and the ways I'm the same since growing up here. I'm still a deep thinker, nerdy, and feistier than people imagine, but something else has risen in me over time.

Growing up, you could always find me in my bedroom, studying and dreaming of what the future would hold. And those dreams came true; the day I qualified as a dentist was one of the happiest moments of my life. My hard work had paid off, and no one could take away that feeling of pride. But since then, my life has taken a turn in a different direction. And I didn't anticipate the change.

Sometimes we grow and evolve because we actively seek improvement. We might use the myriad of personal development content to help us get there. It's tangible and it makes sense, like getting a new job or meeting new people. But other times, we undergo internal changes without noticing it. As a result, nothing around us changes, even though we have.

When you grow but your life stays the same, it leaves behind subtle signs that your surroundings don't fit you anymore:

• You no longer relate to some of the people you know. You get bored of their conversations and irritated by their behaviour. You might notice things about them that you don't like, and you wonder how you didn't notice them before.

• You're beginning to get more comments from people about how you've changed.

• You're getting into more disagreements with people you know. It makes you feel like you're the problem.

• You feel bored and restless, like there's something else you should be doing.

• You feel trapped in your current routine. You wonder if this is all there is, and you start picturing yourself doing something else.

• You feel jealous that other people get to do what they want with their lives (to the point of resentment).

• You crave more solitude.

As you become more of you, you become less of you. You create a gap between who you are and who you were. The new version of you doesn't fit your external world anymore.

This is pretty painful. It's like wearing a pair of jeans that no longer fit — every time you put them on, you feel restricted. But the moment you take them off and let everything hang out, you feel free. It becomes pretty obvious the jeans no longer fit but they're your favourite pair. It's hard to let them go.

You might have worked tirelessly for a life you thought would make you happy: to find your soulmate, to make a group of friends, and to get the job of your dreams. Of course, you're thankful for everything that's come your way. But that life no longer feels like yours. You've outgrown it. You've shed layers that once brought you happiness and you mourn for them.

No one really talks about grief when it comes to growth, but I think there's a lot of it. An old version of you no longer exists. You might miss that version at times. The people around you might struggle too. They might prefer the way you were before your transformation because it's easier for them to understand and accept. In the end, you might have to say goodbye to old dreams, old friends, and everything you once knew.

It certainly feels easier to cling onto your old life, especially if it once made you happy. But that old version of you has served its purpose: it got you here. Acknowledge, grieve, and celebrate that version. But realise it's time to pass the baton on. I'm always reminded of the scene in Toy Story 3 when Andy gives his toys to Bonnie. Andy wants to keep them, but he knows it doesn't make sense for where he's going.

When a caterpillar undergoes metamorphosis, it doesn't stay grounded. It spreads its wings, leaves the safety of the cocoon, and embraces its new form as a butterfly.

Don't shrink yourself to fit into your old life. Rise to the possibilities of who you've already become.

💭Made you think

✨ An overthinker's delight

Joy, creating, & slowing down — I joined Danny Miranda for a wholesome chat on some of my favourite topics.

Stop over-explaining yourself — you can set boundaries by saying no, but true confidence is when you don't feel the need to explain yourself. 

🎬 Thought behind the video

7 small ways to improve your life — we usually think of dramatically changing or upgrading our lives, but I've found it's the smaller things that have made me more happy, intentional, and confident.

In case you missed it, I'm taking a short break from YouTube. I've been feeling quite uninspired, drained, and burnt out lately. I probably will post again in March, but I'm going to see how I feel. I'll still be writing these letters though 😊

I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Love,