Using boundaries for an intentional life, ownership through creation and finding your purpose.

Hey friends,

I sent someone my bank details today. It’s the first bank account I ever had, and those familiar digits conjured up a memory of me going to the bank with my Mum to set it up. It was really mundane, I’ve never enjoyed going to the bank, but it seems much more significant now that I've been using that same account since I was 16. I look back at that memory with fondness.

It’s the same with my mail. Before I got married, I’d receive my packages and rip them open, eager to get to the contents. I paid no attention to the label. Now, I get excited by post because I get to see my new surname, reminding me of this new chapter in my life (no, the novelty still hasn’t worn off). I kept the label of the last letter I received with maiden name too, it’s in my journal and fills me with warmth and nostalgia.

So often we look for big exciting moments and adventures, hoping to forge lasting memories. Yet even the most insignificant, ordinary things can hold sentiment and significance. Big moments and milestones come and go and we expect that, but it’s the more ordinary things that we miss when they aren’t there anymore.

👣 On finding a better pace

Boundaries are a prerequisite for an intentional life.

It’s one thing to know what you want and why, it’s another to know what you don’t want and being able to say it.

I’ve been getting quite a few messages from people on social media asking if I want to connect over a zoom call.

Don’t get me wrong, I love connecting with other people. All of the friends I have are people I’ve met online. But those friendships grew in a really natural way. We connected through direct messages until eventually it just felt natural to meet up. We didn’t have to ask to connect, we just did. This is real connection, and that’s what I value.

Networking is something you do with your career or getting ahead in mind (at least that’s what I think). Now that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you’re able to offer value to who you approach. But honestly, it’s not something I want to spend my evenings doing. I’d much rather spend my evenings with my family and switch off.

This is what I reply to people who want to have zoom calls now. I ask if we can connect through messages instead so that I can leave open that window of connection, but it also means that I can spend my evenings more intentionally.

🎨 A creator’s thoughts

Sometimes I think back to why I started creating online.

It wasn’t exactly a spur of the moment decision. I had admired youtubers for so long, wishing I could do what they did. It just never crossed my mind that I was capable of doing it.

I guess what pushed me in the end was my feelings of frustration. I was frustrated with being in a career path that I didn’t like and not knowing what to do next. I was also jaded from spending my free time watching other people live their lives, and I mean truly live their lives.

Eventually those frustrations reached a peak. I tore away from my fears and self-limiting beliefs, realising there could be nothing worse than going through life and not doing the things that deep down I really wanted to do, even if I was afraid to admit it.

Being a creator hasn’t given me an income that has allowed me to walk away from my day job, but it has given me a feeling of ownership over my life.

Instead of spending my time passively consuming things that other people have made (websites, TV, music, books), I’ve joined the magic of putting something into the world that wasn’t there before.

Whether it’s creating online, baking cakes or upcycling furniture, it takes you from passive to active, and we should always take an active role in our lives.

🔎 Good finds

Allow things to unfold and you will find your purpose in life | Peggy Oki

I watched this TED Talk by Peggy Oki, a skateboarder and surfer who set up the Origami Whales Project to raise awareness about commercial whaling.

She didn’t go looking for this purpose. She didn’t make big plans to be the founder of a meaningful project. It just happened as she followed her natural interests.

Sometimes we overthink what we’re doing in life and whether we’re doing anything meaningful. But all it takes is following our interests to see where they takes us, and connecting to it in a way that feels like we're giving something back.

💭 Made you think

And, that’s it! I hope you have a lovely week, I honestly can’t believe we’re in February already!

Love,

Akta

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