Hey you,

Someone recently asked me what my star sign was. Proud of the bold sign identifying me, I replied "Aries".

I’ve always been a bit of a star-gazer. I appreciate the beauty of the night sky and I find solace in looking at the moon. But I’m not sure I believe in horoscopes. I mean, it seems impossible to have one description that fits one-twelfth of the global population. But when it comes to being an Aries, it seems like the night sky wrote a description just for me.

Growing up, I always felt the tug to express my individuality. I created art, I thrived in debate, and I was fiercely independent. I embraced the temper of an Aries like it was my own, believing that the intensity of its fire could guide me forward and let me shine. But now I wonder if I held onto these traits too tightly, using them as a crutch to avoid true soul-searching.

Paul Graham believes we should keep our identities small. Delving into faith and politics, he argues that deeply held beliefs lead to pointless conversations.

When your ideas relate to your identity, it's difficult when those ideas get challenged. That's why there's so much contention over politics and religion. It becomes harder for someone to be open-minded and contemplate new perspectives when they feel attacked on a personal level.

I've attached my sense of self to many labels: introvert, high achiever, dentist, creator, YouTuber, socially anxious, impatient, neurotic, overthinker, deep thinker.

I've been mulling over why I'm so drawn to labels. I think it's because they give me a sense of order in the midst of chaos. Labels let me know who I am and what my place is in the world. They give me an identity.

Aren't we all trying to figure out our place in the world? Isn't it a goal of many to feel connected? Labels allow us to recognise how we fit into the bigger picture and provide us with a community. "Introvert" is one such label I often use; it makes me feel at ease to know 25-40% of people share my preference for alone time. It tells me that I'm normal and that I fit in neatly somewhere.

We're all looking for meaning. And sifting through people, placing labels, and stacking them onto shelves in precise categories, helps us to do that.

But if I'm an Aries, can I not instill an aura of tranquility into my life too? If I'm an introvert, do I always have to withdraw after every social gathering? If I'm a dentist, am I bound to caring for teeth for the rest of my life?

When we use labels as our lens, we miss everything on the periphery. Yes I'm fiery, but what's missing from this description is that I only get passionate about the things I really care about. At school I relished in being a high achiever - but I put mounds of pressure on myself as a result. If I got anything less than an A, I'd worry that people would see me differently.

It reminds me of 2 pet peeves of mine:

• social media bios

• when someone starts a conversation with, "so tell me about yourself"

You know what ends up happening right? We resort to labels. How else do you describe yourself in just a few words?

But nowadays I refer back to one of my favourite quotes:

I don't let nouns imprison me. Instead of saying "I am", I strive to say things like:

• I do...

• I make...

• I work at...

These phrases don't make up who I am. They just explain some of my choices. My decisions don't define me, nor do they provide any insight into the intricacies of my mind and soul. But for a society that needs to put us into boxes, they offer some clarity.

Labels keep us small. Every time we define ourselves with a noun, we put ourselves in a box and tape it shut, stifling our own growth. Instead, keep your identity small. Ironically it's the one thing that will expand your sense of self.

💭Made you think

✨ An overthinker's delight

Naval Ravikant Podcast Notes - Naval Ravikant is well known for his outlook on life, money, success and happiness. These podcast notes from an interview with him give snippets of his insights.

How To Say No - Setting boundaries was one of the most life-changing things I've ever done. It's not easy to say no, especially if it's in your nature to please others, so use these prompts to help you to say no in any situation.

Five keys to a Happy Family - I always watch Harry Potter around the holiday season. It's not a typical Christmas movie, but it leaves me with those warm, fuzzy feelings. And the Weasley family are a big part of that. A licensed therapist and a filmmaker deconstruct what makes the bond between the Weasleys so special. I can't tell you how much I love heartwarming content like this.

🎬 Thought behind the video

Create the life you want in 2023 - I think many people set goals and new year’s resolutions based on what they think they should do. Society’s noise, expectations, and pressure get in the way of authentic goals, which means we waste our time on goals that don't make us any happier.

That's it for the week! I'm planning to do a Q&A on my YouTube channel for the end of the year, so if you have any questions for me, hit reply to this email! :)

Sending you light and warmth wherever you are ✨

Love,