Hey you,

For a few years now, I’ve had a “word of the year”. It’s a pretty simple concept. You choose one word to act as an overarching “theme” or intention of the year. My 2022 word was “unfold”.

My thought process behind this was that I wanted to go with the flow more. This isn’t natural to me. I’m pretty neurotic - think Monica Geller from FRIENDS.

Well, it turns out, 2022 was the year I needed the word “unfold” to guide me the most. It’s been a stressful year to say the least. Although I’ve not talked about it online, there’s been a huge amount of uncertainty in my life. It's not something I'm good at dealing with. I struggle with not knowing. I end up trying to fill all the gaps. I overthink every possible scenario. Panic is usually the only thing that actually unfolds.

But for the past year I’ve been trying to be concerned instead of worried. Yes there is a difference, at least, that’s what Dale Carnegie says.

When you have a concern, you have a problem that you can address. But when you worry, you go in futile circles doing rounds of “what ifs”.

💼 You’re concerned about a job interview so you practise some interview questions. But you worry about if you’ve got the job.

👯 You’re concerned that you upset a friend so you apologise. But you worry about what she thinks of you.

👰🏽 You’re concerned about planning the perfect wedding. But you worry that the weather will ruin your day.

Concerns are pretty healthy because they’re practical and solution-focused. But I find that when I worry, it’s about things I can’t control: the weather, other people’s minds or actions, the past, the future, and even traffic. Because they’re unknowns, they leave you considering every possible scenario. But thinking about it won’t give you the reigns to change the outcome.

The thing is, it’s hard not to worry. It’s hard not to think (this letter is for overthinkers after all). But I also think it’s perfectly fine to want the feeling of reassurance, safety, and some level of control.

So instead of worrying and having a myriad of scenarios to dwell on, I turn my worries into a single concern. All you have to do is ask yourself: what's the worst that can possibly happen?

Your worst-case scenario becomes your concern. It’s the only situation you have to think about. Admittedly, it might not be a great situation, but it’s better than drowning yourself in worry. You can calmly try to improve on the worse-case scenario, leaving you one step ahead of the worst that can happen, or you can mentally accept it. Either way, you’ll often find that the worst case scenario isn’t as bad as you think. It’s crazy how our minds make problems seem way bigger than they actually are.

Uncertainty is a part of life. And whilst its something I hope you don’t have to deal with too often, I hope you’re concerned instead of worried.

💭Made you think

✨ An overthinker's delight

Focus to win - If you're overwhelmed by all of the things you want, you need to read this. Not all good ideas are meant for you.

Man's Search for Meaning (at Work) - I think most of us have, at some point, wondered if their work is meaningful enough. I definitely have, as both a dentist and a creator. But maybe you don't find it, maybe you create it.

🎬 Thought behind the video

I didn't post a video last because I had the flu, so I thought I'd share one of my favourite videos with you instead.

The word that's ruining your life - I think there's one word that burdens us with pressure, expectation, and unhappiness. Can you guess what it is?

Are you concerned or worried for what's to come? How do you cope with worry?

I hope you're having a lovely week wherever you are.

Love,